Helambu Trek-December , 2010

Five days Helambu trek was absolutely wonderful. First time I did this trek was on my own without any foreign clients. I started the trek from Sundarijal which was about an hour bus ride from Kathmandu. The whole area is scenic and has beautiful landscape, but the trail is comparatively lot more up and down. Because of that, my legs were bit sore end of the trip. I went through many beautiful villages, Fir and Rhododendron forest. After Tharepati, villages are much more colorful and well set. People are very friendly and nice. Each village has huge monastery, decorated by colorful pray flags, Stupa and Maniwall. Second last day I passed more then dozen of new and old stupas, big statue of Guru rimpuche on top the hill near Sermathang and two graves sight of Tamang and Sherpa people. Both sights are quite interesting. I ever saw this big brave sight in mountain area. In one place more then hundreds of monuments inside the pine forest and many of them are invisible. The views along the trial were quite amazing, cultivated steep land with beautiful terraces, different types of villages, forest and of course Mountains. Any way last day bus ride from Melamchi Bazzar to KTM was even more interesting. It was small bus with about 50 sit. But there were about 200 people including inside and on top, every 10 or 15 minutes bus stopped and some people get down and some get on. It was quite a experience and a long journey on a local bus after several years. 

Hope

I am suffering from depression and having high tension, because of my business falling down and all my hard work is worthless. Some time I really feel that the trouble I am having is very serious and I am not finding way to solve. Usually my thought is positive and I work positively too but when thing goes wrong and all the effort goes insignificant then mind doesn’t think right way.

To make the mind fresh and to over come from depression, I joined Yoga class from June 2010. Yoga class relieved me slowly. I wish this class will bring my positive thinking and encouragement back.  I really struggle from very young age but I never had disappointment. I always got something afterwards and always saw improvement. I know thing does not happen same all the time which I had experienced earlier but I never lost one after another. I don't know why time does not cope? Why all my decision goes wrong? And why my plan doesn’t work out? 

I know behind the darkness there is brightness too. Still I am alive waiting for the brightness to increase my strength and to bring back the encouragement I joined the Yoga class its helping me a little bit. At least two hours every day my mind calm down and that helps another four-five hours.  I am hoping the better day and the better future ahead..........................

Life

The life in reality is so doubtful. Last year, I took a close look at my life. Every moment I found it full of fear, felt hopeless, unsecured and losing confident. Last one year I haven't had a single moment to enjoy. I really worked hard, used my knowledge and put all my effort to build better business but nothing happened, my business didn’t improve and my life is getting worse and worse. I am so scared looking ahead, looking my family, looking my son’s education and looking at the present conditions. I am feeling so hopeless; my every effort turned out meaningless and did not work. I feel so unsecured, I have lost everything, and whatever I made is all gone. I am really losing my confident I really worked hard to build a sustained business. I invest all my money, time and knowledge but in return I got nothing. 

In March 2009 I started a new restaurant at a new place with courage, confident, hope and happiness. I never thought this business would damage my life. I never lose my confident and never been sad but when the business went down and all my effort became meaningless.  Some time I feel like I am going to be mad, my mind does not work and I just feel tired. My mood is always off and I have no courage to do any work. I am not sure the business I am doing is right or wrong? Or I have the right knowledge for a restaurant?  Whatever, money, time and knowledge I have spent? I used many different techniques to make the business better, but there’s no improvement. All these conditions unknowingly dragging me into sadness.............................